Secondly, when a vice-presidential candidate stalls her way through two interviews to the point where both Katie Couric and Charles Gibson ask her pointed yes-or-no questions, and she still doesn’t answer clearly, we begin to worry.

Could this woman, who has no idea what McCain’s voting record is or whether she supports the invasion of Pakistan, be a good world leader? Or is she simply an eager backwoods grandma with so little foreign policy experience that she confuses foreign policy with an occasional glimpse of uninhabited Russian coastline?

Thirdly, on September 11, 2008 in her ABC interview, she demonstrated no knowledge of what “the Bush Doctrine” was, (basically, a justification of preemptive strikes).

She also claimed that “what Bush has attempted to do is rid this world of Islamic extremism, terrorists who are hellbent on destroying our nation. There have been blunders along the way though.There have been mistakes made. And with new leadership — and that’s the beauty of American elections, of course, and democracy — with new leadership, we have the opportunity to do things better.”

In other words, she has no idea what “The Bush Doctrine” is — which I’m sure Bush, in her shoes, would not either, but she wants to continue it, anyway. What could be more Bush?

Fourthly, in that same ABC interview, she claims that war is the last option and that we need to keep all of the options on the table — meaning she is making no statement about war. In another section of that interview, she states that the iraq war is the “right thing” and Charles Gibson quotes her stating that “our national leaders are sending our soldiers on a task that is from God,” and she protests that she is referencing Lincoln. Yet Gibson tells her, “and then you went on and said, “there is a plan, and it is God’s plan.”

Fifthly, she claims that we should be friends with Georgia and Ukraine and let them join NATO and remain on good terms with Russia, even though Putin has stated that he will not tolerate any inclusion of the Caucauses in NATO. She is baffled by Gibson’s question about whether this means that she would side with Georgia against Russia or with Russia against Georgia.

Sixthly, Palin’s answers to these interviews have inspired the creation of an internet-based Governor Palin Response Machine. For example, I said “What’s up?” and it said

“No, no. I agree with John McCain, who use their careers to promote their careers. Al Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America … who grow our food, run our factories, and fight our wars.” Conduct your own Palin interview — it’s endless laughs for the whole family, unless she gets elected.

Seventhly, her claim that she has foreign policy credentials because she can see Russia from part of her state is a little bit like a claim to be a professional piano player because I have sometimes walked by Symphony Hall. That is either an insult to the intelligence of the American people or an unwitting admission of her own ignorance.

And finally, as CNN late night points out, this is the first time in a while (eight years?) that candidates have saved Tina Fey work of writing a parody. Check it out while I rest my case.

My fellow Americans, it is an honor to address the Democratic National Convention at this defining moment in history. We stand at a crossroads at a pivot point, near a fork in the road on the edge of a precipice in the midst of the most consequential election since last year’s “American Idol.” One path before us leads to the past, and the extinction of the human race. The other path leads to the future, when we will all be dead. We must choose wisely. We must close the book on the bleeding wounds of the old politics of division and sail our ship up a mountain of hope and plant our flag on the sunrise of a thousand tomorrows with an American promise that will never die! For this election isn’t about the past or the present, or even the pluperfect conditional. It’s about the future, and Barack Obama loves the future because that’s where all his accomplishments are. We meet today to pass the torch to a new generation of Americans, a generation that came of age amidst iced chais and mocha strawberry Frappuccinos®, a generation with a historical memory that doesn’t extend back past Coke Zero. We meet today to heal the divisions that have torn this country. For we are all one country and one American family, whether we are caring and thoughtful Democrats or hate-filled and war-crazed Republicans. We http://www.hungry-girl.com/sectionimg/1176strawberry_creme.jpgmust bring together left and right, marinara and carbonara, John and Elizabeth Edwards. On United we stand, on US Airways, there’s a 25-minute delay.

Ladies and gentleman, I never expected to be speaking before you today. Like so many of our speakers at this convention, I come from a hard-working, middle-class family. I was leading a miserable little life, but, nevertheless, overcame great odds to live the American Dream. My great-grandfather fought in Patton’s Army, along with Barack Obama’s great-grand uncles’ fourth cousin once removed.

As a child, I was abandoned by my parents and lived with a colony of ants. We didn’t have much in the way of material possession, but we did have each other and the ability to carry far more than our own body weights. When I was young, I was temporarily paralyzed in a horrible anteater accident, but I never gave up my dream: the dream of speaking at a national political convention so my speech could be talked over by Wolf Blitzer and a gang of pundits. And today we Democrats meet in Denver, a suburb of Boulder, a city whose motto is, “A Taxi? You Must be Dreaming.”

And in Denver, we Democrats showed America that we have cute daughters who will someday provide us with prestigious car-window stickers. We heard Hillary Clinton’s ringing endorsement of “the weak-looking thin guy who’s bound to lose.” We heard from Joe Biden, whose 643 years in the Senate make him uniquely qualified to talk to the middle class, whose family has been riding the Acela and before that the Metroliner for generations, who has been given a lifetime ban from the quiet car and who is himself a verbal train wreck waiting to happen.

We got to know Barack and Michelle Obama, two tall, thin, rich, beautiful people who don’t perspire, but who nonetheless feel compassion for their squatter and smellier fellow citizens. We know that Barack could have gone to a prestigious law firm, like his big donors in the luxury boxes, but he chose to put his ego aside to become a professional politician, president of the United States and redeemer of the human race. We heard about his time as a community organizer, the three most fulfilling months of his life. We were thrilled by his speech in front of the Greek columns, which were conscientiously recycled from the concert, “Yanni, Live at the Acropolis.” We were honored by his pledge, that if elected president, he will serve at least four months before running for higher office. We were moved by his campaign slogan, “Vote Obama: He’s better than you’ll ever be.” We were inspired by dozens of Democratic senators who declared their lifelong love of John McCain before denouncing him as a reactionary opportunist who would destroy the country. No, this country cannot afford to elect John Bushmccain. Under Republican rule, locusts have stripped the land, adults wear crocs in public and M&M’s have lost their flavor. We must instead ride to the uplands of hope! For as Barack Obama suggested Thursday night, wherever there is a president who needs to tap our natural-gas reserves, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a need for a capital-gains readjustment for targeted small businesses, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a president committed to direct diplomacy with nuclear proliferators, I’ll be there, too! God bless the Democrats, and God Bless America! (From David Brooks, NYTimes Op-Ed Columnist).